I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
