The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
