my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
