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how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
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