Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

We tried having a conversation with our noses.

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(585): View more from New York

there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer

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(702): View more from Nevada

well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

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(765): View more from Indiana

Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

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(740): View more from Ohio

he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.

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(773): View more from Illinois

somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.

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