Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I guess God knew he was going to be bald...

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  (281): What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh? (832): I guess God knew he was going to be bald... http://tfl.nu/ipcy
  Replies (35) Good night (3334) Bad night (593)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny

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  (978): it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny http://tfl.nu/hpxx
  Replies (17) Good night (790) Bad night (2598)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?

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  (703): My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall? http://tfl.nu/yddz
  Replies (51) Good night (6094) Bad night (842)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.

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  (205): we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit. http://tfl.nu/3r6b
  Replies (14) Good night (4980) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...

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  (425): I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results... http://tfl.nu/tn0b
  Replies (14) Good night (1219) Bad night (7901)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up

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  (785): i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up http://tfl.nu/4wl0
  Replies (10) Good night (4812) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.

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  (919): We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad. http://tfl.nu/rfuh
  Replies (25) Good night (2388) Bad night (6403)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

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  (732): there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts. http://tfl.nu/wlt6
  Replies (48) Good night (7774) Bad night (2206)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'

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  (802): I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress' http://tfl.nu/zrhx
  Replies (4) Good night (1381) Bad night (792)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?

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  (772): how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground? http://tfl.nu/issb
  Replies (19) Good night (4537) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.

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  (804): he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself. http://tfl.nu/dcvq
  Replies (1) Good night (1105) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have

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  (215): You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have http://tfl.nu/bm9z
  Replies (6) Good night (562) Bad night (1536)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment

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  (931): I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment http://tfl.nu/k0uz
  Replies (2) Good night (903) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?

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  (804): I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day? http://tfl.nu/ul99
  Replies (2) Good night (1239) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.

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  (503): My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon. (503): I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me. http://tfl.nu/sdzr
  Replies (6) Good night (889) Bad night (385)

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