Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!

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  (248): Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something! http://tfl.nu/qltt
  Replies (14) Good night (886) Bad night (1871)
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  (315): View more from New York

  im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!

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  (315): im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone! http://tfl.nu/rzxj
  Replies (41) Good night (3265) Bad night (1172)
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  (+26): View more from

  Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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  (+26): Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY http://tfl.nu/9qwj
  Replies (30) Good night (7606) Bad night (2775)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"

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  (970): I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983" http://tfl.nu/egdi
  Replies (31) Good night (1003) Bad night (5692)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.

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  (504): Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me. http://tfl.nu/tasz
  Replies (22) Good night (1531) Bad night (4381)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"

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  (732): The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out" http://tfl.nu/fcdr
  Replies (5) Good night (1167) Bad night (2116)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."

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  (206): Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't." http://tfl.nu/2qab
  Replies (3) Good night (1956) Bad night (699)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.

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  (870): No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you. http://tfl.nu/b7m8
  Replies (6) Good night (1870) Bad night (753)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on

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  (616): Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on http://tfl.nu/xayw
  Replies (10) Good night (1438) Bad night (569)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.

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  (908): Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea. http://tfl.nu/8iqm
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (1047)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.

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  (216): Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left. http://tfl.nu/jvbq
  Replies (6) Good night (1673) Bad night (588)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.

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  (989): You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone. http://tfl.nu/tu9y
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...

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  (206): you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night... http://tfl.nu/tmlo
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (359)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.

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  (202): I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house. http://tfl.nu/n9mx
  Replies (7) Good night (1707) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !

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  (+91): I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' ! http://tfl.nu/au1d
  Replies (4) Good night (862) Bad night (488)

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