I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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