I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week