I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???