I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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