yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
