im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
