you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
