We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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