there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
