its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
