I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
