ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
