Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
