Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
