so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
