If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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