wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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