I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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