It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
