Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
