She's JV to your varsity
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
