Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
