to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
