a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
When are your genitals available?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
