apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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