For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
