I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
