NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
that's an acceptable place to lick
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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