3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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