i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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