In the future we'll all be gay
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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