I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
