i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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