please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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