where am i from again
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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