The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
