I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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