Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
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