Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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