those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
