I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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