wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
