the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
