He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
false alarm, still single
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
