I'm drive I can fine osifer
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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