God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
