He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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