I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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