Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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