Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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