Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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