so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
