hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
