So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
