She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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