just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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