i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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