woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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