Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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