then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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