can u get pink eye on your cock?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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