just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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